by John Hendryx
You said you trust in Jesus yet you claim YOUR sin has disqualified you. Consider ... this means you are not trusting in Christ alone but, at least partly, in your own ability to maintain a just standing before God. Still trusting in your own goodness to win Gods approval. But in Christ you already have his approval ...The gospel is good news that Christ ALONE saves, not you. You will never defeat sin by trying, only Christ can do so in and through you. If you believe you don't deserve heaven, by the grace of God flee from trusting in your own righteousness ... all of it... you have nothing to offer God. You are spiritually bankrupt and can only come to him with empty hands as a poor sinner. Trust in Jesus alone.
It seems that your sin deeply concerns you. This is a sign of life, for those without the Holy Spirit would be unconcerned, indifferent or hostile to God, rather than concerned or broken over their sin. In 1 Cor 11:31-32 it teaches than when a believer sins either we judge ourselves, or the Spirit will discipline us until we do so that we will not be condemned along with the world. That is good news .. the Spirit is working in you to be convicted over your sin, to hate it and, by the grace of God, to put it to death.... and you will be fighting it all you life .. in fact all of us are... when you fall though, the Spirit will ensure that you get back up and persevere to the end. Being a Christian does not mean you are sinless, but that you are united to the one who was, and God accepts you because of Him. Your cannot maintain your own standing before God ... that is the Lord Jesus' office, and His alone.
If you trust in Christ, your sins are forgiven... Because of Him, "the Father ... has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light." - Col 1:12
Trust in God's promise, not how you feel about it. Sin is the only thing you have contributed to your justification. His promise is sure: He is God. Root your trust in God's promise that your sin is forgiven in Christ. Your troubled conscience is a sign of God's love that he is still working in you.